assistantwithass:

test-subject-denied:

"Isn’t that nice of you. So are you taking me off of this or not?"

She went to disconnect the IV. “Are you always this impatient?”

"Only when there’s a needle in my arm."

assistantwithass:

test-subject-denied:

"I can handle it. To be honest, I was mostly looking for a cheap high before I go and do something really stupid. But you probably figured that out for yourself."

"I did, but I figured you deserved it since you were just stabbed.”

"Isn’t that nice of you. So are you taking me off of this or not?"

assistantwithass:

test-subject-denied:

"If you want me out soon, I should probably get off of this before it puts me to sleep."

"Will the pain be too much for you if I take you off it?"

"I can handle it. To be honest, I was mostly looking for a cheap high before I go and do something really stupid. But you probably figured that out for yourself."

assistantwithass:

test-subject-denied:

"The drugs help."

"Good point. How long do you think you’ll need to stay here?"

"If you want me out soon, I should probably get off of this before it puts me to sleep."

assistantwithass:

test-subject-denied:

"That’s what makes it funny."

"Well, at least being stabbed didn’t ruin your sense of humor."

"The drugs help."

assistantwithass:

test-subject-denied:

"I figure that you of all people would be the ones to screw with."

"You know what I meant."

"That’s what makes it funny."

assistantwithass:

test-subject-denied:

"Really, now? Well, you don’t want to fuck me, I’m going to murder your boyfriend, and as long as I have a pulse I am going to be a threat to you. What reason could you possibly have to want to keep me alive?"

"I understand you, to an extent. Everyone’s assaulted a few businessmen over some little offense. It would be hypocritical for me to flat out hate you for doing nothing I wouldn’t have done myself. I’m just trying to fight fair, let you know that you’re screwing with the wrong people, and give you a chance to reconsider while you still can."

"I figure that you of all people would be the ones to screw with."

assistantwithass:

test-subject-denied:

"Considering that the subject happens to be one of the few people willing to feign affection for you in exchange for friction on their shaft, I’m going mark your criticism off as biased and disregard it."

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. He’s fucked half the staff by now, probably more. If you think we’re only friends because I put out, you don’t understand how things work around here very well. And I’m trying my best not to be biased. If I wasn’t, I would’ve killed you myself by now. The whole point in me even trying time reason with you is that I don’t want you dead.”

"Really, now? Well, you don’t want to fuck me, I’m going to murder your boyfriend, and as long as I have a pulse I am a threat to you. What reason could you possibly have to want to keep me alive?"

assistantwithass:

test-subject-denied:

"I was being sarcastic. I know that what I’m doing is immoral, but I could not give less of a flying fuck."

"I know that you know it’s immoral. Everything’s immoral here. That’s not really the point. You seem to think that this is a logical solution, and that you’re making the right choice. That’s what I’m interested in."

"Considering that the subject happens to be one of the few people willing to feign affection for you in exchange for friction on their shaft, I’m going mark your criticism off as biased and disregard it."

assistantwithass:

test-subject-denied:

"Exactly! See, now you’re getting my point - it’s obviously his fault for feeding my homicidal urges with his whining and spitting and involuntary erections. Now I have to murder him. What a shame."

“Hasn’t most of this taken place in his office, that you willingly walked into? You make it sound like he’s been hunting you down to harass you. You’ve always had the option to walk away and never deal with him again.”

"I was being sarcastic. I know that what I’m doing is immoral, but I could not give less of a flying fuck."